This past Christmas, my husband got a motorcycle. He is a proud owner of a Indian motorcycle. It has actually been a really nice change of pace. I have even been on a few rides with him and some new friends. But, I am going to be honest, I struggle most times getting on the motorcycle. It is comical now, but not when it is happening. I am strong enough to know that it is healthy to laugh at yourself sometimes. I will get there.
During a ride recently, my husband suggested that I might try getting onto the the motorcycle by standing up on the foot plates before sitting down on the backseat. I heard him out and without thinking about it too long, I told him that it would not work. I eventually got on the motorcycle and was ready for the ride, but I could not get the conversation out of my mind. And, it did not take me long to realize that I was not willing to try it because I did not trust my leg to not give out under me. I did not trust the leg that I would be standing on. I know that it sounds crazy. We squat to sit in chairs, without thought, because we trust that the chair will hold up. And, we step on small ladders, thinking more about our destination than the ladder. But, I do not trust my leg to hold me up.
So, here is the reality. Trauma does not fit in a pretty little box that you can dress with the finest wrapping paper and a pretty bow. Trauma is not clear cut. Trauma is not pretty. Trauma changes everything. I survived a traumatic event and I am having trouble trusting the outcome.
We do the same with God. We find ourselves in the middle of a storm and without thought, we begin to think that we can’t get through it, but the reality is, we have what it takes to get through it and thrive. We believe that “our legs” can not support us. We have to trust God. We have to trust that when He tells us not to lean on our own understanding, He means it. We have to trust that He says that He is the rock of our salvation. We have to trust Him when he says that He will never leave or forsake Him. Trust Him like we trust a chair to hold us. And, when the chair does not hold us, allow God to be the carpenter that puts all the pieces back together.
Pisteuo (verb, Greek) meaning faith, believe, trust in. Pisteuo God!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
